Our journey pretty much started like everyone else's. We came to that point in our marriage when we both had this longing for a child. We went the traditional route, but as the months (and now years) passed by with no results, we thought maybe we should speak with a fertility specialist. My part was easy...one test and everything was fine. Then came Mara's part...not so easy. Our schedules were completely turned over to Shady Grove and the unending tests. Mara had appointments sometimes at 7:00 a.m. on our way to school, appointments several days in a row, appointments on Sunday mornings in Rockville, MD. It was so unpredictable, impersonal, and scientific. Then, Mara began taking fertility medications that gave her hot flashes and made her nauseous. After six months, they stopped prescribing the medication. Added to this was the invasive treatments and examinations. After seeing my wife's tears on our last visit to the fertility center, I knew this was taking a toll on Mara's well-being.
We had discussed adoption long before. We had always said we would birth our first baby but adopt our second. So, the adoption discussion came naturally. We are friends with a family who adopted a little girl from China about 8 years ago. Sharing with this family, learning about Chinese culture and history, and the opportunity to visit China were all factors in our decision to choose international adoption. I'll spare you the details of what life is like in China for little girls. However, I do suggest you do some research. I'm sure you will be as heart-broken as we were when you do. We contacted Holt International Children's Services. Mr. and Mrs. Holt were the founders of international adoption. (Read Bring My Sons From Afar by Bertha Holt.) I highly recommend the agency. We quickly completed our application, and we were accepted on May 9th, 2006.
Then, the real work began. We had multitudes of paperwork to complete, to have notarized, certified, and authenticated. This means we not only went through our local government with each form, but also to our state capitol and various federal agencies. Although tedious to gather, some of the data collection was easier than others, (i.e original birth certificates and marriage certificate with numerous notarized copies, photos of the exterior and interior of our home, medical exams, blood work, references, our biographies and biographies of our families and upbringing). Then came the fingerprints taken locally followed by another round of fingerprints through the Department of Homeland Security. The DHS unfortunately sent us to Charleston, WV which was an 11 hour round-trip. Our appointment was 8 a.m. We had to drive down a day early and stay in a hotel in order to be there on time. Two weeks later, we received a letter saying my fingerprints "didn't take" and we would have to return to Charleston the following Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. Unfortunately, the fingerprints at the local police department "didn't take" either. (My wife and I decided that since my fingers leave unintelligible marks....I should have been a professional thief. I would have made much more money than from teaching!) Then, we arranged our "home study" which was actually a pleasant experience. Our social worker was so supportive and friendly. We met with her several times during the summer of 2006.
As things normally do, everything worked out. Holt sent our finalized dossier to China on November 10th, 2006. Since then, the waiting time for a referral has changed every time we have received an update. We were first told that it would be a 13-14 month wait. Then, it was 15 months. Then, it was 16-18. Next, it was 19-20. The next update that came was 20 months. As of the update we received today, it is now 21 months. This means that all of the paperwork that we did in the past will expire and we will have to go through the paperwork process again. We'll also have to have our "home study" updated.
I know that as I look back on all of this, it could all sound so overwhelming and stressful. It was and still is. However, I know that Mara and I have made the right choice. I believe with all my heart that God lead us to do this. We'll save a child from a life in an orphanage and in return...she'll save us with her smile.
We had discussed adoption long before. We had always said we would birth our first baby but adopt our second. So, the adoption discussion came naturally. We are friends with a family who adopted a little girl from China about 8 years ago. Sharing with this family, learning about Chinese culture and history, and the opportunity to visit China were all factors in our decision to choose international adoption. I'll spare you the details of what life is like in China for little girls. However, I do suggest you do some research. I'm sure you will be as heart-broken as we were when you do. We contacted Holt International Children's Services. Mr. and Mrs. Holt were the founders of international adoption. (Read Bring My Sons From Afar by Bertha Holt.) I highly recommend the agency. We quickly completed our application, and we were accepted on May 9th, 2006.
Then, the real work began. We had multitudes of paperwork to complete, to have notarized, certified, and authenticated. This means we not only went through our local government with each form, but also to our state capitol and various federal agencies. Although tedious to gather, some of the data collection was easier than others, (i.e original birth certificates and marriage certificate with numerous notarized copies, photos of the exterior and interior of our home, medical exams, blood work, references, our biographies and biographies of our families and upbringing). Then came the fingerprints taken locally followed by another round of fingerprints through the Department of Homeland Security. The DHS unfortunately sent us to Charleston, WV which was an 11 hour round-trip. Our appointment was 8 a.m. We had to drive down a day early and stay in a hotel in order to be there on time. Two weeks later, we received a letter saying my fingerprints "didn't take" and we would have to return to Charleston the following Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. Unfortunately, the fingerprints at the local police department "didn't take" either. (My wife and I decided that since my fingers leave unintelligible marks....I should have been a professional thief. I would have made much more money than from teaching!) Then, we arranged our "home study" which was actually a pleasant experience. Our social worker was so supportive and friendly. We met with her several times during the summer of 2006.
As things normally do, everything worked out. Holt sent our finalized dossier to China on November 10th, 2006. Since then, the waiting time for a referral has changed every time we have received an update. We were first told that it would be a 13-14 month wait. Then, it was 15 months. Then, it was 16-18. Next, it was 19-20. The next update that came was 20 months. As of the update we received today, it is now 21 months. This means that all of the paperwork that we did in the past will expire and we will have to go through the paperwork process again. We'll also have to have our "home study" updated.
I know that as I look back on all of this, it could all sound so overwhelming and stressful. It was and still is. However, I know that Mara and I have made the right choice. I believe with all my heart that God lead us to do this. We'll save a child from a life in an orphanage and in return...she'll save us with her smile.
1 comment:
Sending this again because not sure if it went through the first time.
What a beautiful journey and story. I am so happy that I can go on this journey with the two or should I say the three of you.
Love,
Aunt, Carol
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